Nursing Home Alternatives

I had the opportunity to read a rather funny take on alternatives to the nursing home.  I will pass along one I thought was very ingenious.  Let me know what you think. 

"No  Nursing Home for Me"


About 2  years ago my wife and I were on a cruise
through  the western Mediterranean aboard a  Princess
liner.  At dinner we noticed an elderly lady sitting
alone  along the rail of the grand stairway in the main 
dining  room. I also noticed that all the staff, ships
officers,  waiters, busboys, etc., all seemed very
familiar  with this lady.

I asked  our waiter who the lady was, expecting to be
told  that she owned the line,but he said he only knew 
that she  had been on board for the last four cruises,
back to  back.

As we  left the dining room one evening I caught her
eye and  stopped to say hello. We chatted and I said,
"I  understand you've been on this ship for the last 
four  cruises". She replied, "Yes, that's true." I
stated,  "I don't understand" and she replied, without
a pause,  "It's cheaper than a nursing home".

So,  there will be no nursing home in my future. When I 
get old  and feeble, I am going to get on a Princess
Cruise  Ship. The average cost for a nursing home is
$200 per  day. I have checked on reservations at
Princess  and I can get a long term discount and senior
discount  price of $135 per day. That leaves $65 a day
for: 

1.  Gratuities which will only be $10 per day.
2. I  will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can
     waddle  to the restaurant, or I can have room service
     (which  means I can have breakfast in bed every day of
     the  week).
3.  Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a 
      workout  room, free washers and dryers, and shows every
      night. 
4. They  have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap
     and  shampoo.
5. They  will even treat you like a customer, not a
     patient.  An extra $5 worth of tips will have the
     entire  staff scrambling to help you.
6. I  will get to meet new people every 7 or 14 days. 
7. T.V.  broken? Light bulb need changing? Need to have
     the  mattress replaced? No Problem! They will fix
     everything  and apologize for your inconvenience.
8. Clean  sheets and towels every day, and you don't
     even  have to ask for them.
9. If  you fall in the nursing home and break a hip you 
     are on  Medicare; if you fall and break a hip on the
     Princess  ship they will upgrade you to a suite for the
     rest of  your life.

Now hold  on for the best! Do you want to see South
America,  the Panama Canal, Tahiti,  Australia, New

Zealand,  Asia, or name where you want to go? 
Princess  will have a ship ready to go. So don't look
for me  in a nursing home, just call shore to ship.

PS. And  don't forget, when you die, they just dump you
over the  side at no charge.

Comments

[Alikhan]

Thanks for the nice post. Looking forward to hear more on this topic.

[Fogia]

Nice work and I hope you will keep it up with your efforts.